Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Record (Re)Setting: Transformation Tuesday Edition

The Reservoir in Central Park: My favorite place to run

“The marathon is cancelled. Let’s drink.”

It was a text from my friend Liz; she and I had trained to run together that Sunday.

The day was Friday, November 2, 2012, less than a week after Hurricane Sandy hit the East Coast. The cancellation was necessary; nearly two hundred thousand homes were damaged and over hundred people lost their lives. It was the right and only thing to do, but selfishly—a small piece of my heart was broken.

Running was still new to me then, but in that short period of time, I had grown to enjoy how empowered it made me feel. Preparing for the marathon gave me a reason to stay focused. I saw improvements with each run: my legs felt strong and my heart and head clear. I mourned the loss of my 26.2 mile goal and months of training by quitting running. I quit taking care of myself too, and easily settled back into a gym-less routine I found comfortable and comforting.

Sometimes change is subtle, for me it was revelatory. It took nearly five years, some rosacea treatment medicine side-effect weight gain, and yet another not-worthy-of-my-time-but-I-liked-him-anyway guy who ghosted to realize I was truly ready to reset my life. I had to stop fixating on what was happening to me and just start making things happen.  And one crucial step would be to seize what eluded me in 2012 and cross that finish line in Central Park.

For years I had been wearing laziness as a medal but was now eager to trade it in for a real one. I joined a gym, took a hard look at my diet, and deleted every single dating app on my phone.

It was the summer of 2016, and it belonged to me.

My newly minted PR from last weekends Staten Island Half!
Summer became fall and I had completed the nine races and one volunteer slot required to qualify for the 2017 New York City Marathon. I had lost 10 pounds. Running aided in my self-confidence; it gave me moments of solitude to reflect not on what still lay ahead, but on how far I’d come. Winter arrived and I accelerated my weight loss efforts by joining Weight Watchers, which was gratefully provided for free through my work. Winter was soon spring and now summer has ended. Twenty pounds and loads of self-doubt lighter, I am nearly through my marathon training. My legs feel strong and my heart and head clear.

My final qualifying race!

True, I re-ignited my love for running, but more so I found a renewed sense of self-worth—fueled by the realization that only I can dictate my happiness. On November 5th 2017, I will earn a medal to commemorate 26.2 miles through the five boroughs of New York City, but in reality that medal will signify a far more important achievement.

I will finish the marathon not only with a new personal best; I will finish at my personal best.

Left: March 2016, Right: August 2017 (Same work bathroom selfie :-p)