Monday, June 23, 2008

Step (It) Up, To Bat

We live in an age of artificial enhancement. You can fix almost any aspect of yourself that you find fault with, which, in turn leads people to constantly pose the question: "Are those real?" Even I am no stranger to such an inquisition.

Get your mind out of the gutter, people. I'm talking about my eyelashes.
Sure, when it comes to the debate between what is real and what is fake, one's eyelashes don't normally figure into the picture. Or so I thought. Sure, I know how easily one can waltz into a drugstore and purchase false lashes, but I never thought it could be possible for someone to assume that those same people would want to put that kind of effort into their everyday routine. I mean, I get it if you want to dress up your make up for a special occasion, hell, even for just a regular night on the town. But to work?

Let's get this straight. I love makeup. I like experimenting with different looks and I am not afraid of color. But the idea of having to apply false lashes every day before work sounds incredibly tedious. And if you know me at all, you know that laziness is one of my best qualities.

Okay, I am not going to deny the fact that I have naturally long eyelashes just to sell you some product. But they are blonde and you can't see them. As a self diagnosed makeup maven, I'm telling you, if you want the look of fake lashes without the effort of applying the real thing, just follow my two simple beauty rules:

1) Always use an eyelash curler
2) Follow with a single application of Yves Saint Laurent Volume Effet Faux Cils mascara (on both top and bottom lashes)

TRUST ME. I have sold tons of my friends (and random strangers) on this mascara. It works. It's the best. I have used a over dozen different brands and formulas, and this is the only one I've stayed loyal to for years.

Many of my friends have expressed a fear of using an eyelash curler. You know what I say to that? Get over it. You must not be afraid of the eyelash curler. It is not your enemy, it is your friend. Sure there is the slight possibility you might pinch some of your eyelid, so be extra careful. A steady hand is key. Don't be nervous, and you'll be surprised how much easier it is than you anticipated. If you are too scared, however, I refuse to be held accountable if the mascara alone does not do your eyes justice.

Okay, so that was a lot of talk. You are probably asking for me to provide proof that these two simple rules are truly the key to flirty eye makeup. So, if you still don't believe me, I have provided the following evidence.

Exhibit A: Yes, I like dramatic, winged black eyeliner

Exhibit B: A better view

And finally...

Exhibit C: Just in case you are yet to be convinced

And with that. I rest my case. Batter up!


Thomas said...

Homerun for the winged eyeliner. KaPowee!

Jose said...

are you wearing your glass eye(s) again?